I drive a lot for my work and so I have a lot of time to think. One day between waves of negativity I decided enough was enough. I was tired of not being able to control my emotions. One minute I was angry and the next I was crying. My closest family and friends encouraged me to get a personal therapist because my couples counseling sessions were very far apart, around a month between, and they were concerned for me. I did end up signing up for a personal therapist but I tend to be impatient. At that moment I decided I had a four-hour drive ahead of me I was going to start immediately.
At the next rest area, I pulled out my phone and pulled up Spotify. I searched for something like emotional management I think. Whatever I typed in, The Mind Set Mentor by Rob Dial Jr. was number one on the list. I selected it and started listening to it the rest of the way home. He talks about many topics like mindset, personal development, self-love, and many more. I listened to many episodes that day and kept listening, like a starving man who just found food.
I never really thought about emotions that much throughout my life. After listening to The Mindset Mentor I learned that I had a very negative mindset which stemmed from a lack of self-esteem and a lack of purpose in my life. Also I didn’t process my emotions properly. Mostly I just repressed them until they boiled out when I no longer could keep them at bay. That was at the core of my hopelessness when I found myself alone and feeling empty, lost, and desperate. I didn’t love myself anymore and nothing in my life felt like it had any meaning.
I know it doesn’t sound like such a great discovery right? But as I continued listening to the podcast I started learning tools I needed to build my self-esteem and to find meaning in my life again. Also I was learning how to manage the storm of emotions running through me.
Some of the tools I discovered were to find and start doing things I enjoy and reconnect with old friends. I learned meditation, breathing exercises to calm myself, visualization, journaling, and affirmations, to name a few.
Some worked better than others but they all helped. It didn’t turn my thinking around in a day but each day I learned more and I became more calm. I realized that it wasn’t hopeless and that I was enough all by myself. The waves of sadness, frustration, and negativity still came, but I was starting to float on my own and my outlook was getting better each day that went by.
Next I found professional help….
Links to The Mindset Mentor